My first post is about something near and dear to my heart and that is mommy hood and how very, very challenging it is. If you talk to any honest mommy they will admit that it is hard to juggle everything and having any interest outside of the kids is doable but makes it even tougher to manage.
Let me start by saying that it is not all bad…I am in constant awe of women. I am amazed when I see a mom go from kissing a boo-boo to taking a call from their boss or a haphazard mom covered in baby vomit that transforms into a little black dress wearing goddess for date night with daddy. I was amazed the first time I was home with a sick little boy and the nurturing that just oozed out of me one minute, then the sound of my tone as I was verbally spanking a vendor the next minute. The ability we have to turn off our June Cleaver and then turn it back on when we need her. Amazing .
So let me kick this off with my story, how I started this incredible journey that is both wonderful and wacky!
So to start…I was born….and raised….and those awkward years….and drank too much in college…(blah blah).
…..now I’m a wife and a working mommy of two.
I had spent my entire adult life pushing hard for success in my career. It was my primary focus and number one priority. I have worked unimaginable long hours, spent countless days on the road, lived in hotels for months at a time because my company needed me to…all to get to where I am today. I was proud of the accomplishments I had, the respect I had gained, the money I made, the promotions I had received and the titles I had earned. I was a confident, strong female in the workplace. I was going places and nothing was going to stop me.
And then I had kids…
Don’t get me wrong – we were ready – they weren’t accidental! In fact we enjoyed conceiving them both greatly *wink wink*. Honest though, we were extremely blessed and had a fairly stress free time getting pregnant with both of our children and they were both planned.
I never had any doubt I would continue working after kids. I believed that being a strong working mom would set a good example for my children. I was not naïve to think that I would not struggle with competing priorities. I was however naïve to think that I would always know the right priority to set and it would be easy to manage. I thought, how hard could kids be? I was not going to allow myself to feel pressured by helicopter moms and breastfeeding Nazis. I was going to do what worked for me, my body and my baby.
Oh boy, and then I had kids…
In an age of facebook, twitter, pinterest, instagram, blogging, the list goes on and on. The amount of input and data thrown in your face on a daily basis is enough to make you want to crawl in a hole and never come out! It was not simple enough to just have kids and do what I “thought” I knew was the right thing. Now there was ALL this information and experiences from other moms, doing and having it all. I felt pressured to keep up. I could not just continue focusing on my career while also being a good mom and raising some little’s that could contribute to society one day.
That was apparently no longer good enough!
Now I had to focus on my career, be a good mom AND breastfeed for years, get my baby sleeping 12 hours a night, make homemade baby food, use cloth diapers, decorate the perfect nursery, hire the perfect nanny, find the best preschool, throw the biggest and best birthday parties, lavishly decorate my house every holiday, take lots of pictures, catalog these pictures, share pictures with world on a daily basis, have my children reading by 3, if they are not reading by 3 have really good excuse for why they are not, dress my children in the latest cutest fashion, oh and when that’s not enough, etsy some homemade clothes to step it up a notch ….really??? Am I alone here finding this exhausting?!?!
So far all I’ve touched on is the work and mommy aspect, what about fitting in everything else….like daddy (sex!!), and friends, and other family, and cleaning house, and paying bills, and exercise, and eating right and last but certainly shouldn’t be least, some me time!
I have so many strong female friends that are exactly the same way and I watch as we all plow forward with similar struggles. I watch us all wanting to “do it all” and still asking ourselves daily if we are covering all of our bases! (notice I said wanting to DO it all and not HAVE it all….that is a topic for another day but has a completely different meaning)
Where does one find the time for all of this and how do we know what the appropriate balance of each is? I don’t have the answer that’s for sure but I am on a mission to find it or at a minimum find others searching for the same!
I hope this blog opens up doors for mommy’s to unite, share in the truth that we cannot always DO it all and its ok to let our kids run around in clothes that may or may not be dirty because you don’t remember if you did laundry yet this week….or feed them fast food because you are just too tired to cook a fully organic meal complete with fruit and veggies….or throw a mediocre birthday party that is not in the least bit “pinteresting” because this year, well it just wasn’t your year to have it together! Note to moms…..our kids don’t care about any of those things, this is not pressure coming from them. They care about having fun and being loved, that about sums it up.